Friday, December 13, 2013

12 Month Update/ Product Review

So we recently decided to get something that everyone has been crazy about, and that we've heard so much about. It's called the "Newbaby". We got it about a year ago. Most people get theirs at the hospital, but we decided to get ours from a birth center called "Special Beginnings" because they have nicer rooms. You should check them out sometime, it's a pretty great place, and they have top quality Newbabies.

So we got this Newbaby a year ago from 12/6/13. So far it's been pretty great. It poops a TON though. I tried calling their customer support to see if it was normal for that to happen, and they just told me to clear it's history and cookies by changing it's diaper. Didn't really work...but oh well, what can you do? They don't have very good warranty coverage, you pretty much have to take care of everything on your own; and get this, you can't even bring it back! They never gave me a receipt, so I have no proof I got it there. Crazy, I know. IT'S 2013 PEOPLE, GET WITH THE PROGRAM! Anywho...
The thing is pretty durned cute, as is evidenced above. I guess we got pretty lucky with the draw eh? It's been the quietest Newbaby yet, and the easiest to take care of. We've even had other people tell us how wonderful it is! Usually Newbabies tend to cry a whole lot, and it's impossible to tell what they want, but this one seems to communicate VERY well. We can always figure out why it is making noise, and take care of it right away. It points to where it wants to go now, and somehow communicates with grunts and squeaks. At first you have no idea what the f*%k it's trying to say, but eventually you can work out what each sound means. This is probably what it would feel like if we went back in time to take care of a cave man...
It interacts with our current Bigkid pretty well I'd have to say. Sometimes their programming can conflict with the other's, but as long as you keep an eye on them they can't hurt each other TOO badly. They have a pretty strong bond now, so even if I could take it back, I probably wouldn't. I have to say though, watching the different versions play and interact together is very adorable. The Bigkid actually has the ability to teach the Newbaby how to do certain things. It's learning things at a much faster rate because of the teamwork. They sure did a great job in the R&D department when they developed these things. I can't wait for the Newbaby to get updated to a Wobbly Toddler. It's almost there now, and as long as we keep nourishing it, clearing all the crap out (history and cookies), and putting it in sleep mode and taking good care of it, the update will happen all on it's own! 

It's actually starting to walk now! While not only being insanely cute, being able to walk increases it's productivity value exponentially. Soon we will be able to train it to do menial tasks like getting me a beer from the fridge, or clearing it's history in the recycle bin (aka the toilet) instead of all over the desktop. Although, as we have learned from when our Bigkid was running on an earlier version, the ability to walk also increased the amount of things they can destroy, and viruses they can upload to the house. So be careful. You have to be preemptive, and install Adblockers (corner pads and outlet covers); we got a little cautious and even installed a firewall between our kitchen and living room, so the Newbaby can't get in.
Not everything is easy with a Newbaby. For example, here are a few of the issues we've been having 
Has anybody ever seen their Newbaby do this? It's been a recurring issue. The back of the package guaranteed us that it would be free of any defects, but here it seems to be displaying some sort of cannibalistic behavior. I'm pretty sure it's harmless (and downright adorable)
It's also developed this habit of climbing on everything it sees. It moves the object around and puts it in front of different things to try to use it as a boost up. While this is a good sign of intelligence and ingenuity, it seems to be a bit of a programming mishap; as this behavior is very self-destructive, and may end up in the Newbaby being harmed. 

It is sticking EVERYTHING in it's mouth. Irregardless of what it is; food, toys, paper, dirt, pens, markers, etc. It's good that it has a decent appetite, it speeds up the nourishing process. But there should at least be a patch to help it differentiate between items that are food and items that can kill it...seems like a serious programming fail. Maybe they are trying to create repeat business by making sure to have to bring it back to get it repaired? Good thing we got insurance...

 Be aware that liquor needs to be kept in a high place, where objects that are pushable to become stools cannot be placed. This one was sneaking into the liquor cabinet when we weren't looking. We took this picture when we caught it one night as proof to show the company that sold it to us. It's life can't be THAT stressful, can it?
 Keep in mind that no matter how many times you dress your Newbaby, it will attempt to rip the clothes and diaper off with vigor and vim. Which makes it a huge problem when they decide to clear their history and cookies before you can get them dressed.

 As long as you are vigilant though, you can head off any mischief or attempt to hurt itself by keeping a good eye on them. For example, we've noticed a pattern with our Newbaby. Whenever it makes this look, it is 1.3 seconds away from doing something completely unexpected, and most likely dangerous. This particular moment probably has something to do with Aries' tail looking tasty or something.


It's also probably the most photogenic Newbaby ever! It doesn't matter what it is doing/eating/destroying, it always looks super adorable and innocent as an angel. It's perfect for my wife, who loves to take photos. 

All in all, the Newbaby experience has been a great one. There have been some ups and some downs, and some angry calls to Newbaby inc.; but overall we are pretty happy. The Newbaby adds a whole lot of happiness to our family dynamic, because of it's consistently bubbly and excited demeanor. It's super intelligent, and calm as a cucumber. I can't wait to enjoy the time when the Bigkid update comes around, so that our current Bigkid can have a permanent play mate. It's been a fun year, and we are looking forward to many more!


  1. When we had our new baby we had the climbing challenge too, boy did we! newbabies are so cute though that none of the challenges end up being all too bad afterall just as soon as we see that sweet little smile. :)