Wednesday, December 19, 2012


Kaylee has been having some issues with the new baby...issues with feelings. Feelings of not getting enough attention and all, but she's done a good job of not blaming Brynna. She's been acting almost possessed lately with random attitudes, not listening, and just not even hearing us. It's been driving me and Camille insane, and I hate to say it but we've been getting very angry at her lately. Being still young, and new to the workings of a child's brain, I've been so lost about what to do...feeling so incompetant, for the first time in my life really. I took Kaylee to the park this morning to wear her out and get her down for a regular nap time. We've been giving her extra attention as much as possible...but after this trip to the park I've realized that with everything going on, me losing my job over bullshit reasons, having the new baby, and Christmas coming up, I personally haven't been giving her the RIGHT kind of attention. My attention is always placed halfway here and halfway there, never fully on her. The park allowed me to do that. We had an absolute blast. It was cold as hell, and we were the only ones stupid enough to be out there, but it was fun. We raced to places, played in the playground, ran to the duck pond, pet a dog, got dirty in some sand, threw rocks, and just walked around. She was completely normal the whole time. We had the most fun we've had with each other in a long time. At the end she was cold and tired (she woke up at about 6:30 this morning and we couldn't get her back to sleep) So I offered to carry her the long way back to the car. I carried her like I carried her when she was a baby, and she loved every minute of it. We walked and talked and she was calmly laying her head on my shoulder the whole time. I can't remember the last time I've had such a conversation with was great. We talked about the birds singing to their little birdy wives cause they were sick or they picked a bad worm out of the ground, about why it was so cold, about everything we could think of. We went to the car and we just sat there, with her in my arms about to doze off, still talking. I started rocking her back and forth as I sat in the frame of the sliding door, and she absolutely loved it. We sat in the car in mutual silence for almost as long as we were outside playing. I reveled in the feeling of being so close to my daughter again. We bonded today more than we have since she was a baby. My back hurt like hell holding her laying across my arms for so long, but I didn't care at all...I didn't want to ruin the moment. As I sat there rocking her, with her not even going to sleep, just laying on me and being silent, I started to cry(I'm starting up again just writing this)...first time I've cried in I don't know how long. I haven't been giving my daughter the full attention she needs, and I hate myself for it. I cried for a good ten minutes, just thinking about how much I loved her, and how much I haven't been showing it in the past year or two. I've been caught up in work, house chores, money, buying things, trying to keep my family "happy"...when today I've realized that happiness comes from love. Kaylee fell asleep in my arms and we headed home. I could tell how happy Kaylee was the whole time. And when she woke up after I put her in the car seat (she's back asleep now) she said "I can't wait to see mommy", even though me and Camille have been getting very angry at her lately. So innocent and pure...What me and Kaylee shared today opened up my heart again, and reminded me of the love I have for her, and this whole family. I'm glad I lost my job. I would have continued to not see what was wrong this whole time...

Sorry this was so long...I just needed to share what happened today. I doubt many people will read this, but the people that do, and that have kids, especially a new one with a toddler, love them like you've never loved them before, because they need it twice as much with the new little one around.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Wordless Wednesday!

I haven't blogged much, I think I still need to get used to documenting my thoughts rather than just thinking them and letting them float away eventually x_x.

Wordless Wednesday is a great and easy place to start, no? (after I made this post I realized that it was impossible for me not to add any captions, so disregard the whole "Wordless" claim)


 I found this little guy tugging at a piece of cloth that was laying in our yard. He was trying so hard to stuff it all in his mouth and take it with him (to make a nest maybe?)

 The poor guy tugged for like, 5 minutes, until he let it all go and gave up. I felt bad xD

 This is Kaylee's first real picture, at least as far as I know. I didn't believe it until I came home and she drew another one for me, but she drew the whale all by herself! It has a flipper, a mouth, a tail and an eye. She's only 3 and a half =o

 Our Halloween pumpkin (kaylee had free range on this thing, if you can't tell) We decided to go the less messy route and get stick-in plastic things with stickers

 Kaylee looooooves wearing my motorcycle helmet. 

 Our little captain hook xD. Gotta love the dollar store. First thing she said when she put it all on was "Arrrg me hearties!"

 Cami's own stew. She makes it every other week or so, and she's gotten really good at it. It's her best dish :)

 A space ship I made from random lego pieces in Kaylee's collection xD. It's got rocket jet thingies, a propeller, a claw bendy thing, and a seat and a steering wheel! Oh, and a side mounted cannon (old school style, think ship cannon, oh yea, that's how we roll in space)

Kaylee doing epic pushups, beefing up for her weightlifting competitions.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Happy Carl Sagan Day!

It's not a holiday most people recognize...but it has its own little cubby hole in some people's lives. For those that don't know who Carl Sagan is, he's a famous Astrophysicist from the land of wonder and intrigue, of infinity and beyond, of alpha and omega. It's the kind of thing that, whenever I think about it, always makes me day dream, and completely pulls me out of the present. I guess I'll just stop blabbering and post one of his most famous quotes:

This quote comes from the book that Carl Sagan wrote called "The Pale Blue Dot". The book was inspired by this picture, which was taken by Voyager 1 at 3.7 billion miles away at the request of Carl. The man requested NASA take a picture for him,  and he got it. The thing that makes this quote so special is that it was completely off the cuff. This guy ate, slept, and lived in the astrophysical. It amazes me that his brain didn't implode from the sheer size of imagination needed to understand all of this. 

Did you know that most of the light we see in space at night is in the past? Our universe is so unfathomably ginormous that light cannot travel fast enough to reach us in time. We have discovered galaxies from the beginning of existence, the Big Bang, that are 13.1 BILLION light years away, meaning light takes 13.1 billion years to travel from it, to us. Those galaxies are likely not even there anymore, but since space is a vacuum and light can travel forever, we get to get a glimpse of time travel (which better be commercially available in a few decades or so). 

He was definitely a genius in his own way, and I personally wish he was still around. Watching some of his videos puts me in awe. Here's to you Carl!

Also, before I go, I'd like to thank Be Creative Mommy for nominating me for The Liebster award already! I'll have to do the full acceptance process later though. Who knew that so soon in my blogging career I'd be getting awards? I guess it helps to have a certain popular Crazy Mama advertising for you :)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

At long last...

My wife, over at the crazy mama's blog, has been asking me to start a blog for some time now.  She says that the Dad's point of view is rarely expressed in blogs, and that it would be a good idea (I just think she really wants to help me design one, she has spent countless hours re-designing hers, and re-designing it, and re-designing it again xD).

Introductions a good point to start at? I've never done a blog before, or documented any part of my life, so you'll have to excuse the fact that it may sound a bit awkward xP.  Anyway, my name's Steven. And if you've read crazy mama's blog you'll already know plenty about our family.  My beautiful wife's name is Camille, and we've been married for going on 5 years in November. (Our new baby girl should be born some time around our Anniversary :)) I'm glad I got married so young, especially to her.  Her cuteness and weirdness (the good kind) fits in with mine perfectly.  And while we've had our differences, I've never regretted marrying her, not once.  One random memory about her: On our way to the hospital to get a check up on kaylee while she was still in Cami's stomach (at 42 weeks) we had a little mishap. The roads were still pretty bad with snow on them, and we were heading over an overpass (which always freeze before the roads do). Well we couldn't see the ice, and we were only going 30 miles per hour, but somehow the Jeep lost control and hit the guardrail. It flipped twice down a hill, and from what I can remember I was freaking out.  But then the weirdest thing happened. AS we were rolling, Camille knew how worried I was and reached over to me and was saying into my ear "Don't worry, it's ok, everything is going to be ok".  She had the piece of mind and calmness to worry about me...and no one has ever done that before. In the face of possible death or at the very least losing our baby (which we didn't, we had kaylee 2 days later in the hospital) she was worried about me, and I'll never forget that <3

 We have an almost 4 year old crazy kid of a daughter that's enjoying life every day.  It's amazing how their imagination has no bounds.  I mean, I still have a pretty creative imagination, but she can be in an empty room and STILL have an adventure!  Watching her grow has been the most enjoyable thing in my life.  I'm 22, and I've been told that having a kid at that age "ruins your life". I've never once felt that way.  Once you see the influence you have in raising this little person from a baby, and how much you can teach them, it's impossible to think that.  It's the most rewarding thing you can imagine. Random memory about Kaylee: Kaylee thinks that I can fix just about anything with my "multitool" (a leatherman I've had strapped to my belt every day for 2 years now). And well...not to brag...but...she's probably right :). Anyway, one day I had taken my friend's computer home to try and fix it for her. Kaylee was about 2 years old at this point. I was sitting on the floor with the computer open and my multitool out. Kaylee was all over my trying to help and fix it with me. I couldn't resist with her being as cute as she was. She takes my multi tool from me and tries to unscrew some screws, and eventually just starts hitting the computer with it xD. But she did do a good job helping me by holding the flashlight while I worked on it. We had so much fun with that simple task. And to this day when one of her toys are broken she still shouts "Daddy get your multitool!"

And our newest addition is baby Brynna.  She's extra special because it's been so hard.  After multiple unexpected miscarriages baby Brynna has  stuck with us until the end.  We can't wait for her to make an appearance (especially my wife at this point!) and Kaylee is super excited also.  I can see it now, those two will have so much fun together!

Random memory about Brynna: Well, we haven't really made any yet! xP But I'm sure I'll remember this pregnancy very well...Camille will make sure of that xD

And finally there are our pets.  There's Molly (the older one on the right) and Aries (on the left).  They are just as much our kids as Brynna and Kaylee are. Camille has had Molly ever since she rescued her from a shelter, and we rescued Aries from going to a kill shelter about a year ago.